It had been a while since I had attended bible study. Crazy work schedules and long distance drives kept me away for months but I finally made it back. I had missed it and was glad to be in attendance.
That is, until a new member brought out an instrument. I saw the case and my heart started beating faster. My palms started to sweat when he brought the guitar out and started to play. I felt like running out of the room as everyone else began to sing the first verse of a song I had never heard.
This may sound silly, but spontaneous worship is one of the biggest fears I have. It is one of the most uncomfortable things for me to experience. I may have been raised Pentecostal, but that praise God through music stuff is something that just does not come natural for me.
I don’t like not knowing what to expect and I don’t like not knowing the words. I also don’t like singing in public period. I know I am not talented in the gift of music worship and shy away from doing it publically.
So there I stood with the option to have a panic attack or to get over myself and worship the God that I love. I chose the latter because in that moment, I realized that’s exactly what worship is.
I have been praying for weeks for God to show me what worship truly means. He’s shown me that it can be not only music but silence, obedience, and contentment among several other things too. In that moment, he showed me what worship was – not by the medium it is expressed, but by what the heart behind it should be.
To worship is to get over yourself. It’s to lay everything aside to stand before the most Holy God recognizing who he is. It is to give pause in this fast paced world to duly note his authority and worthiness.
As I began to swallow my pride and began to sing what few songs I knew, I began to feel the hand of the master on my heart. There were still moments when I felt like running away but I chose to carry on. With a prayer of “help me to get over myself” and a choice to enter in, I made it through.
My reverential fear of my God is of more importance to me than my irrational fear of guitars and singing off key loud enough for someone to hear. Won’t you join me in getting past the silliness of our humanity to enter into the great intimacy at the throne of the Most High?
But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. John 4:23
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
Posted in 
Tags: 
I think that is absolutely wonderful. I have the opposite problem. I was raised in a Charismatic-type church, so we were also into spontaneous worship and such. The church I went to was really big on praise and worship and sounding good, so it trained me up to care more about the music being catchy than about the actual meaning behind the music. So I can sing praise and worship songs (spontaneous or not) quite easily, but I have a hard time finding the focus for praise and worship. This article is inspiring, and I think it will help me in weeks to come to be able to more fully worship God.
Very interested
Hollie – thanks for sharing – I didn’t stop to think that those who I think ‘it comes natural for’ might also struggle just in a different way. I was raised pentecostal so I am used to being around spontaneous worship but have never really felt comfortable to participate in it. Thank you for helping me to see the other side!
-reba.